As I continue to take in all that has transpired over the last month, I cannot help but feel a bit overwhelmed. I’m not one to typically dwell on something, especially if it is something that hurt, but my heart still aches for our failed IVF procedure.
I cannot help but be a bit bitter even still, but I’m starting to heal. We both are, but I’m certain more time is needed. Maybe we will never truly heal from it, and that’s OK.
As mentioned previously, we will be attempting embryo transfer in a little over a month and a half, and I’m doing everything I can to prepare my body for the procedure. I’ve been hitting the gym really hard 4-5 times a week. Instead of focusing on losing weight, I’m looking to gain muscle and get some definition. It’s starting to pay off.
I’m also watching more of what I eat. I’ve never been a really unhealthy eater, but I’m cutting out what’s left of my unhealthy lifestyle. Pray for me. This is so much easier said than done!
So far, I feel stronger. I feel more clear-minded and my stress levels have been minimal. In fact, despite everything going on, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I know that sounds odd considering everything Jason and I have been through, but because of everything we have been through and are going through, our marriage is better than ever. I’m not saying our marriage was bad before by any means, but our marriage has transformed and matured a lot these past few months. I cannot even describe it.
I’ve also been working really hard on my book. Last week I reached out to a few book publishers in regards to my novel. It’s a work in progress. I have a few chapters complete, but one editor from one of publishing companies I spoke with seemed genuinely eager to read what I have thus far. Needless to say, this weekend has been pretty jam-packed with writing. With the some-what frantic writing comes a bit of stress, but it’s good stress. I’m set to shoot her over a few chapters early this week.
I am fortunate to have a very supportive spouse. He has ALWAYS encouraged me to follow my dreams, and the last few months I have been doing just that. He has stood by me and has truly tried helping me along the way. I don’t think I could pursue my dreams, like I’m doing, if I didn’t have him by my side.
As we wait for October to arrive, we are both keeping busy with numerous projects. I’m working on my novel and another children’s book as well as running my business, and Jason is working on a few children’s books as well as working an insane amount of hours. Guys, Jason is such an incredible writer. Not even joking. Can’t wait for you to see his latest project! It’s on point.
Keeping ourselves busy has really helped us take our entire focus off of our infertility battle. The next several weeks will pass quickly, so we’re making the most of them the best that we can.
We seem to be really good at waiting these days, but we got this. We got this because we have each other.
Keep on waiting. It will happen. -Habakkuk 2:3