Sitting in the lobby this morning patiently waiting for this dreaded process to start, I had suddenly become overcome with emotion, clearly overwhelmed. The day before, Aunt Flo decided to visit shattering our dreams of having another “miracle” child. I recalled having to call the Fertility Center letting them know I had started so they could get me scheduled for my ultrasound.
The ultrasound alone would be uncomfortable, but that wasn’t what had me all worked up…
Following the ultrasound, I met the IVF coordinator in a conference room to discuss the game plan. I’d start two of the fertility drugs the next day. She showed me how to fill up the needles and then inject them into the fatty tissue on my stomach. We went through charts and our game plan was finally in place.
The part that terrifies me the most is not the abundance of shots I have to give myself, but it’s the measuring and distribution of the meds. It’s the need to be on a strict (VERY strict) schedule. It’s about discipline. I’m in control of this procedure working, to an extent, and that’s terrifying.
What if I mess it up? What if I screw up the dosage?
I can’t afford to mess this up.
One thing that is a blessing, currently in my life, is that for the first time in my nearly 30 years of life, I will have zero distractions in my way during such a pivotal moment in Jason and my life.
For once, I’m on my time. I don’t have to report to anyone, and I’m free to go to the doctors as needed.
It’s go time. There is no looking back. Tomorrow, June 18th, our IVF journey officially kicks off.
Pray for guidance. Pray for peace.
For the first time ever, my doctor was scared to let me leave the office because my blood pressure was so high. I’ve never had an issue with high blood pressure, but it was apparent that my nerves and my fears are trying to overshadow all that is good.
I must remember to breath. I must remember that God is control of my life, and HE shall not fail me or give me anything I cannot handle.
Pray for courage. Pray for love. Pray for clarity. Pray for strength. Pray for a miracle for my family and I.
It’s go time.
We are ready. Please pray for us.